Hits from the Skullbong

by Fatdick

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Thaddeus Tobin Hard to pick just one favourite track. Matt Likes Veges is pretty high up there. Enjoyed that when I saw Fatdick open for Cattle Decap. Fist Beats Cock and Fat Fuck Fairley are very high up there, too.

The lyricism on Beachball Bounce could rival Pig Destroyer in the grind sphere.

I finished this album and felt the same satisfaction that I get from a really good wank. Favorite track: Matt Likes Veges.

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1.	Nobody Likes Luke 02:24	lyrics
Office boy soft as hands Bluescreen of death I.T scam Never gets his work done Too much pornhub little cunt Bust a nut he’s the man Virile wee bastard teenage Dad Double dipping you got twins What great news got the spins Can’t say that about the shoes One slick mofo a ton of ooossh They’re not blue not even suede Just boat shoes can’t get laid Got no paddle up shit creek The gift, a curler tween the sheets Smashed laptop shat the bed She sure was real fucked in the head This is your brain on drugs Eggs and bacon cooked as fuck Smiley boy curled like a cat You little shit eat my scat Free disappointment slap dat bass Festy Westy get in ya place Bighead Jesus looking cunt No one likes Luke fuccccckkkk off
2.	Parramatta Splatta 01:13	lyrics
Sometimes we do some fucked up things Leave behind a mess None have quite fucked it up Like Parramattas Jess Mum had gone and fucked her off Instead of going to bed She went medieval on the bitch And removed her fucking head Its the Parramatta Splatta Chopped her up to bits Sawed her head clean fucking off My Mum was such a bitch Chop chop Hack hack Chop chop Hack hack Ritas decapitated head Lying on the path Turns out her daughter was insane She did it for a laugh After she had chopped up Mum She popped over next door The unsuspecting neighbours Jaws hit the fucken floor Standing drenched in mother’s blood She looked a fucken sight Can you call the cops she said My Mum’s just lost a fight
3.	Matt Likes Veges 00:37	lyrics
Peanut butter on his toast He’ll mow your lawns Don’t need a goat When he’s hungry Pigs right out On leaves stalks sauerkraut Aubergines right up his street Soy based products cost more than meat Like an army on the march With stinky fetid plant based farts I like Veges - Cauliflower balls I like Veges - Bean sprout dick I like Veges - Methane anus I like Veges - Fuck off Poor Jilinda Can’t feed the kids On thin air Or just weetbix C’mon Dad go get some bacon Fucking sick of eating shit
4.	Fist Beats Cock 00:29	lyrics
Fist beats cock Kentucky fried violence I want my nuggets I won’t go in silence Fist beats cock Snapping your neck Quarterpack blitzkrieg I’ll shoot you dead Fist beats cock Dirty old bird Birmingham beatdown The bird is the word
5.	Masturbeats 00:31	lyrics
Little drummer boy Beating on his skins Calloused blistered mitts Committing vile sins Masturbeats - Just can’t keep up Masturbeats - Too fucking slow Masturbeats - Just like a mule Masturbeats - These drums just blow Has to wear socks on his fists To stop him wanking everything Anti masturbation cross Sucks at the drums like a boss Masturbeats - Ham Fists Masturbeats - Useless Masturbeats - You cunt Masturbeats - Fuck off
6.	The Poser 00:44	lyrics
I am a poser leather jacket I am a poser total maggot I am a poser arms are crossed I am a poser looking lost Lots of tattoos fake cunt Head to toe fuck off Metaller digits fucking tosser Total Schroeder fucking poser Small mans syndrome Strike your pose Maxed out arrogance Look down your nose Three foot six Just like a hobbit Pick up your sticks Can’t roll just drop them
7.	Fat Fuck Fairley 01:19	lyrics
Tried to hold it in Gotta get it off my chest When it comes to being a cunt I tell you he’s the best Shit he’s fucking ugly A face that makes you heave Everytime he’s here or there You wanna fucking leave He wears a spandex suit Is that a cock or ball Whatever it is it’s pretty fucking small Tits hanging out skin super pale Moving on the stage Like a beached beluga whale Horrendous looking cunt Worst I’ve seen in my life Honestly can’t believe That fatty has a wife I hear he has a daughter I hear she’s on the run Getting away from Steve Is the best shes ever done
8.	Pie Poker 00:14	lyrics
Chubby fingers Can’t text Only good for poking pies Make mine apple ya cuntox
9.	Skanks & Slutz 00:48	lyrics
Courtney place Friday night Come to ride the town bike No shame no qualms It’s all right here Absolutely positively Rohypnol in your beer No bells no whistles No brains no clue Seeking the cock is all they do No shame no qualms Seeking choad Faster pussycat go go go Syphilis for breakfast Chlamydia for lunch Gonorrhea at dinnertime Skanks and Sluts
10.	Beachball Bounce 00:05	lyrics
Beachball Bounce
11.	Partycunt 01:26	lyrics
Turns up at parties with no piss It’s alright I’ll just drink his Always on the bludge for smokes Parties down goes for broke He’s a party cunt he’s a party cunt He’s a fucking cunt he’s a party cunt Life of the party has no soul Hits the switch locks n loads Total waster loves getting rekt Hangs around till there’s nothing left Always in everybodys stash Never has no spending cash Always something up his sleeve Partycunt social disease
12.	Gores Emporium 00:57	lyrics
Incredibly gruesome discoveries Various unsettling scenes Container full of horrors Would you like to buy a spleen Gores emporium - Little chop shop Buckets of heads - Ice cold cocks Use the bodies - Ill consented ways Stack of corpses - On sale today Buckets of heads - Infected dead Sewn together - Arms and legs Sewing her head - Onto his body Nailed to a wall - Transblendered hobby Grimly displayed in a frankenstein manner Torso is mismatched organs are splattered
13.	Shitocalypse 00:48	lyrics
Excrement in his eyes Its a wonder no one died Poochy Poos all up the wall Dog doobag can’t contain it all Freaky fetid feces face Canine surprise dogshit disgrace Showering scat right in your grill Battery powered M80 thrill Pooper scooper fecal blast Defecated across my yard Exploding shockwave of shit Vicious shit tsunami hits
14.	Skullbong 00:49	lyrics
Extreme lengths To satisfy cravings Corpse molestation - Sounds just crazy Grave desecration Obtaining the tools Creating a Skullbong Three juvenile fools Beheading the dead Three broken spades Skullbong session Stoned for days Hollowed out head Hundred years dead Inhaling corpse smoke Have another cone
15.	Fat Dick Smak 00:11	lyrics
Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaat Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccckkk Smack
16.	Chug Fuck Feces 00:36	lyrics
There I was having a great night It couldn’t get worse it gave me a fright Empty my bowels all over the floor Not enough towels why is there more Lick the bowl eat my shit Chug fuck feces full of it Fingerprints D.N.A Chug fuck feces just not my day I haven’t got any depends All up the walls it never ends Chug fuck feces get it on down Chug fuck feces drinking Lion Brown Chug fuck feces acting like a clown Chug fuck feces nappy
17.	Son of Bain 00:42	lyrics
I am son of Bain Programmed to kill Pigs fucked it up I am the monster Beelzebub Killing them all I shot my mother Nerdy demeanour Colourful jumpers Dave loves his paper run Kill your whole family Davey boy Daddy says I deserve to live Five headshots all dead now
18.	Franks Missing Head 00:53	lyrics
Franks lost his head Franks lost his head Ten thousand fucken dollars Missing from his bed Seventeen fucken years seventeen fucken years From making dumb decisions When you’re pissed up on the beers Eugene fucken stabbed him But that’s not fucken all He tried to use old Franks head As a fucken volley ball He chucked it off the balcony Was the cunt on crack Just like the cunt below him Who threw the head right fucken back Chucked it off the balcony Was the cunt on crack Just like the cunt below him Who threw the head right fucken back Franks lost his head Franks lost his head Who’ll drive us to the tinny house Not Frank he’s fucking dead
19.	The Fappening II 01:25	lyrics
Hitting the ground three mighty thumps Wargod of choad mighty man stump Shockwave hits mighty schlong blast Dazed & confused by the mighty man mast Mandingo has nothing on this Beast of evil with a massive dick Striking with malicious intent Fat dick smack bludgeoned to death Townsfolk run villagers flee Fappening cums monster is free Twilight falls bodies fly Fappening is here everybody dies Bashed in with a flesh baseball bat Pounding death crack smack whack Seeking victims bloodbath ex mortis It’s a fucking daughter slaughter Heroes fight on dispensed with violence Shrieks of horror break the silence Makes short work of lesser men Wankfist hammercock the Fappening
20.	Big Wave Suck 01:20	lyrics
Hey chickee babe let’s mess about Get on your knees get your tits out Mouth open wide it’s time to unleash The beast from the beach wants to cream Hey chickee babe get you friends over here Start tonging each other pulling your hair Prepare your tonsils you’re gonna be rekt Ain’t no simulation its strangulation sex Fondle our balls Polish our knob You’re gonna suck it dry It’s starting to swell Starting to throb You’re gonna suck it dry Shining pork sword Blood engorged rod You’re gonna suck it dry Get ready for another load It’s an Eruption on Mt Choad You’re gonna suck it dry Fat cock fat cock lets rock lets rock Hold your breath and block your nose Hot chicks hot chicks suck dick suck dick Like a melon through a garden hose

about

Debut full length album from Kapiti beach grinders Fatdick

We thrive on acts of Darwinism to enable us to write songs based around the innate stupidity of the human condition.

Weather it be a pants shitting drunken escapade or a tale of teenagers digging up graves to make bongs from the skulls of the dead, we delight in the ritual abuse of both real and fictional characters (including ourselves), people, places and stupid news reports from the internet.

No topic is considered taboo and if offense is caused then you probably deserve everything you get.

credits

released November 20, 2021

Fatdick are:

Vox - Fairley
Gats, Vox - Willy
Bass, Vox - Westy
Drums - McStool

Recorded & mixed: Dec - Sept 2020/21 at Sunchaser Studios by
James Woods & Matt Williams,
Mastered by Andrew Downes at Homerun productions

All music & lyrics:
Matt Williams, Jake McCool, Steve Fairley, Luke Weston with additional lyrics on Parramatta Splatta, Fat Fuck Fairley & Franks Missing Head by George (I wish I never left) Prowse. Vegan ranting on ‘Matt Likes Veges’ by Bailey, Soprano shrieks on ‘Fat Fuck Fairley’ by Claire & Monstrous screams on ‘The Fappening II’ by Ryan.
Disharmonic choir - Jilinda, Cash, Ivy, Conrad, George, Ryan, James, Lauren, Claire, Bailey, John,

license

about

Fatdick Wellington, New Zealand

Fatdick are a Beachgrind band from the Kapiti Coast area near Wellington New Zealand.

Holy gargantuan beach balls Fanatdicks, Fatdick have released their debut album.

With 20 high speed, crushing, and bruising beachgrind anthems to pulverize your brains with, this is sure to be a candidate for the manifestly stupid awards.

Would you like to buy a spleen? ... more